Sundays, Syrup and Bacon

I enjoy Sundays…..most of the time.  But today is especially sweet.

With two away at college, the weekends have truly been less stressful this Fall, but to be honest I haven’t really felt like my wife or I have had much additional free time.  I’m not complaining and when our two older ones left for college, I never really was anticipating having free time, but I guess as I recently looked at the decrease in the number of activities on our schedule I thought, “Man, we don’t have as much going on but they all seem to be scattered just so.  There is no stopping.”  And that is what was so great about today.  Free time.

My son had a retreat at church as part of his confirmation process and my wife took our daughter shopping for things for her Halloween costume.  The Redskins have a bye and the Colts don’t play until 4:15 pm.  What this meant is I actually have three hours all to myself.  No guilt of not spending time with my children, no guilt of not watching football on TV, no guilt of not doing something work related.

Unfortunately, there is plenty to do in the yard or around the house, but nothing urgent.  Also, please don’t bring down my buzz about the leaves that need raking, the basement that could use reorganizing or the end of the year video for my son’s football team that I haven’t even started and needs to be done in two weeks.  All of these will be there tomorrow.  But the freedom, the opportunity I have to do something truly relaxing and for me won’t be.

How have I chosen to spend this three hours of free time?  With you.  Ok, that sounds trite.  Actually I have chosen to spend it at a local coffee shop.  Drinking coffee, watching people, listening to music on my mp3 player, writing this blog, attempting the Sunday crossword puzzle and if I was reading a good book right now, I would probably have spent the balance of time reading it.

Afternoons like these are so rare one should treasure them.  We all have far too much pressure on ourselves to be here or there or do this or that, that we never really spend our time doing the things we really want to do. 

Youth Football and Guns…I’m Speechless

“He’s got a gun! He’s got a gun!” those were the shouts that silenced the words of encouragement this past Sunday at the Pee-Wee football game in Northeast Philadelphia.

“What now?” is all I could think when I read this story in the Philadelphia Daily News . 

Having been involved in coaching of youth sports for many years, I’ve seen and heard a lot of crazy things.  This year has been no different from the coach in California who tackled the 13 year old player on the field to the coach on one of our opposing teams this fall using what amounted to a  racial slur to signal his team’s defensive formation. 

I have had my share of parents who don’t think their kid is getting enough playing time and aren’t shy at all to let me know it.  I have always been mindful of kid’s playing time because I believe the purpose of kid’s sports is to give every kid a chance.  As I tell all the parent’s of the teams I coach, “When scouts start showing up at our games, I might change my strategy.  Until then, everyone plays.”

So apparently in Philadelphia that was not the philosphy of the coach of 6- 7 year old pee wee football players and a parent took offense at this.   So much so, he pulled out a gun.

First, let me talk about the coach of these are 6- 7 year olds.   When asked by the parent when he was going to put in more players he responded,  “he liked to run up the score before he put in other players.”

I’m sorry.  Did I read that correctly? “he liked to run up the score” first.  These are 6 – 7 year olds! What the F- is wrong with you! 6 – 7 year olds!  Why are you worried about the score?  At this age isn’t the point to teach the kids about the basic fundamentals of football? You don’t need to run up the score at this age.  You don’t ever need to run up the score.  This guy should never be allowed to coach kids.

Now based upon the coaches response I can understand the dad getting upset.  But pulling a gun out is not the answer.  In fact, the real tragedy is that he even brought a gun to his 6 – 7 year old’s football game.  What was he thinking having it there?

My heads hurts just trying to comprehend this whole thing.    If you think you need to run up the score on 6 – 7 year olds before you put other kids in; or if you think your kid not gettng enough playing time when they are 6 or 7 years old will damage the college or professional prospects; or if you have any reason to bring a gun to a kid’s football game; or if you think pulling out a gun is the way to settle an argument….I’m speechless.

I am speechless.

Teen Suicide

I received a disturbing note from an old friend today.  The child of a mutual friend of ours had attempted suicide.  I don’t have a lot of details other than the child is recovering from this unfortunate act and the family is still trying to get a full understanding on the reason.

The news of anyone trying to commit suicide, especially a child,  is disturbing enough.  But see, this was the third young person I knew of who had attempted suicide in as many weeks.  Unfortunately, the other two were “successful” in their attempts..

It is so saddening to think what could have possible been going through these kids head to want to give it all up.  In a way, I can empathize with them.  I was diagnosed as being clinically depressed 18 months ago.

My depression had been going on long before I was diagnosed and the damage it caused in my personal and professional life was/is significant.  But that is all for another time.  What I want to convey here is how desperate these teens must have felt that they would take their own lives.

Even though I suffer from depression, any thoughts of suicide that I have had have been just that, thoughts.  I have never had the urge to act on it even though I have thought of several ways to do it.  There are times when life becomes so unbearable that I wish I could just die.  But I would never do it via suicide.

All I can think about with these teenagers is that their choice to commit suicide and to follow through with it could have been stopped if they were more mature.  I am NOT suggesting they were childish in their behavior, but rather that they did not possess the life experiences and maturity that comes with age to think about the full consequences of their actions.  I know that this is a very large part of what stops me when I get those thoughts.

What is it that would drive a child to have grown up fears, and pressures which they can not handle? 

Are we putting too much pressure on kids to grow up too soon?  With the things on the Internet like YouTube and various explicit websites and the type of television programming out there, are we exposing our kids to too many adult type issues which can only be fully understood or appreciated with age? Is this part of the cause of teen suicide?

I am not blaming the Internet or YouTube or television.  I am questioning the content that we allow our children to access.  It is not the technology , it is the message that I wonder which might be too much for a young developing mind to handle.

I don’t know.  I don’t have the answer.  I wish I did.

More On, “Are You Really Surprised?”

Since I posted my last Blog “Are You Really Surprised”, I have seen other articles which make some very valid and interesting points regarding Pat Lazear and the preferential treatment of athletes.

 Christine Brennan in The USA Today had an article entitled, “Colleges, society flunking prep stars’ inflated sense of self-worth”.  She makes an excellent point when she talks about her attempts to reach the Athletic Directors of Ohio State and Alabama, two of the colleges still recruiting Lazear:

“Had they gotten in touch, I would have asked a simple question, something along these lines: What in the world are you thinking?”

Just as I would want to ask Lazear what he was thinking when he got in the car that night and drove to the Smoothie King.  But unfortunately, I am afraid Lazear doesn’t think – or at least he doesn’t feel he has to think about anything but himself and football.  Not his role in society, not other’s rights, etc.

When asked about the impact this is having on him, did he talk about a life lesson learned, did he apologize for a youthful mistake or even recognize that what he did was wrong?  Instead, as he told The Washington Post about his criminal charges: “If this drags on … it might mess up getting to school and getting started with football.”

He is right about that.  But I think he is missing the point.

But, let me address a comment left by a Michael Goulding in response to my Blog.  He is upset that Robert Warren’s “several prior convictions including possession of firearm, discharge of firearm in an urban area, burglaries and thefts,” but this wasn’t reported in the The Washington Post article, “All-Met Linebacker Said To Be Robbery Ringleader” 

As Mr. Gundling points out, the past history of Mr. Warren would be good to know before passing judgement.

In fairness then, I think I should let you know that Pat Lazear was previously convicted  for the use of a stolen credit card to buy a $130 pair of sneakers in November 2004 — and the ensuing 90 days of court supervision.

From your comments it appears you may not be aware of this.

As Judge Joseph A. Dugan Jr. said at Lazear’s hearing his track record contradicted the depiction of many of the people who testified to his character.

“Ten months later, not only is that all forgotten, but you’re involved in a robbery with a dangerous weapon,” Dugan said while delivering his verdict.

Is that fair enough for you Mr. Goulding?

Actually, let me say this.  The point isn’t really about Pat Lazear or Robert Warren or any individual student.  The point is the administration and coaches at Walt Whitman High School need to be looked at very closely.

I am sorry that your “golden boy” Pat Lazear is in trouble and has possibly ruined his future.  I am sorry that people have , as you call it, “piled on”.  But the truth is there are problems at Walt Whitman and if people like you would stop long enough to notice the bigger picture you might see what I am talking about.  Then maybe you will use your energy and your email skills to attack the real problem.

Dr. Alan S. Goodwin, Principal should resign

David H. Magathan Jr,  Athletic Director should resign.

Eric Wallich, Varsity Football coach should resign.

Andy Wetzel, Asst. Athletic Director/Varsity Wrestling coach and former assistant football coach should resign.

All-Met Linebacker Said To Be Robbery Ringleader

Robert Warren
 testifies that Pat Lazear, above, was not only the driver of the get-away car in a robbery of a Smoothie King, but was also the ringleader behind the scheme.

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